Masking My Pain
Hidden away behind my dividers I felt left out while co-workers partied. No one in the office had even stopped by to wish me a happy 4th of July. No one cared. I waited until I thought everyone had left. I got up from my desk and went into the kitchen. Cold cans of beer were plentiful and seemed inviting. I needed something to calm me down and I felt in luck that my company had the cold beer so easily available. I decided to take several to my desk where no one would see or find me. I lined the beers up and began my binge.
Now, the office was silent. I was finally alone. Feeling depressed and anxious, I reached in my purse for my bottle of zanax. One zanax and one beer. Two zanaxs on my second beer. Three more zanaxs on my third beer. This game went on until I went blank. Today, I am a suicide survivor. I had lost control and almost lost my life. Was the insensitive behavior of my employer, lack of support and understanding of my depression at work really worth the price of ending it all ? It certainly was a contributing factor.
Hope For The Future
Today, I am glad to be alive and tell my story. I am also so glad to reach out and hopefully help the millions who also suffer from depression in the workplace. Together we can find support in one another. This is our new beginning. It is a chance worth taking. No one should suffer alone.
We must stand together and make a difference. No more stigma. No more shame. Workplace depression is real. I am living proof. Please email me your story about your depression at work.